Because... It's My Heart

You hear my heart
because you listen,
You feel my heart
because you touch,
You know my heart
because you care,
You are my heart
Because you're there.

When Next We Meet Always

~ To a Special Friend on this Special Day ~

When next we meet, the wind will blow a litte colder, the stars will shine a little brighter and time will move a little slower.

When next we meet, we will take the time to listen to the sound of each other’s voice, we will talk about our dreams and goals and hopes, we will laugh at each other’s jokes and cry for each other’s pain.

When next we meet, we won’t be afraid to say how we feel, we will not hesitate to show our passion, we will enjoy the sound of each other’s heartbeat and the feel of each other’s skin.

When next we meet, a song will catch in our hearts, a poem will tell our desires, a special food will be our aphrodisiac, a movie will act out our story, a favorite place will be our Eden.

When next we meet, we will walk together, our fingers will touch, our eyes will meet, and you will take my breath away.

When next we meet, the minutes will turn into hours, the hours will turn into days, and the days will turn into “I love you always.”

Our Brother, Wayne

The day before Thanksgiving, I received a call from my father. He sounded very grim, his voice cracked. My first thoughts were that his wife, my stepmother, Eleanor, had suffered an illness, or had possibly gone to Jesus. I also thought that it may have been his sister, or someone on our side of the family still back east.

Never did I imagine what he was going to tell me next. That on November 21st, there was a horrible accident, and my stepbrother, Eleanor's son, Wayne went to be with the Lord.

I didn’t know him very well, having only seen him a couple times at Dad’s when I visited. The last time was when I was there for Dad’s 80th birthday and the whole family got together for a family portrait. Wayne was there with his wife, and their two children. A lovely new little baby boy. I remember I liked him. I remember I thought he was a good dad, a hard worker who took pride in his profession… he laid tiles and landscaping. He was EXTREMELY good because I saw what he did at Dad’s house. I never thought…

but who ever thinks…

More than anyone else, I was concerned about my younger brother, Kirk. Jan (my older brother) and I didn’t live at home long enough to really know Wayne… But Kirk lived with him for many years as a member of the family…as a brother. He was understandably devastated.

I explained to him why I couldn’t make it to the memorial service with everything else going on in my life; the divorce, the sale of our house,.. but I felt very bad and I hope he can forgive me. Now I’m even sadder to have received the following tribute from Kirk in my e-mail… the tribute that he made at the services in front of Wayne’s family and friends. I was so proud of him. Wayne would have been so proud of him too.

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Here's a poem I wrote in tribute to my recently "fallen" brother:
It's called: "We'll see you again"

"What happened there 'Lil Buddy? T'was a moment weak - you had?!
We often ask these questions now; your brothers, sisters mom & dad.
We feel your pain, your suffering, your angst & your concern.
For a peace you needed, with Christ in Heaven; it is now for you - your turn.
We think of the good times shared, now put in past memories of you.
Your gentleness, your kindness, your cackling laugh & photo's are precious things to view.
As your childhood comes in flashback when we take a moment to look there.
We remember with great joy, the little boy - so weak, so innocent & so fair.
But as the years flew by and we looked upon your face.
We could see that a strong, powerful man was now standing in his place.
Now, it is we that must go forward through this grief and great pain.
Only our Lord will now provide us with the strength needed to sustain.
Oh - Wayne, how we do miss and need to declare our everlasting love.
For we know that it is you that hear us from your new home so 'high above'.
Though you're gone, you seem so near - so close, yet far away.
Our precious Wayne, we know it is you we'll see again some sweet day.
It is true; we look upon your face and gaze at your loving smile.
For over 'yonder' - up in heaven; We're sure you're stayin' busy - layin'
tile."

On Monday-November 21st, 2005; I and my family lost a great man.
A husband, a father, a son, and a brother.
Although he is gone, we must try to find comfort in knowing he is here with us in spirit.
His children need never to be forgotten.

Remember those that are still here in this world, that you love & consider friends or family.
For tomorrow they may be taken away from you." The Lord giveth & the Lord taketh away."

God Bless you & your family
With all my love -
Kirk S. Vandermade
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Rest in Peace, Wayne. You WILL be missed.

God Bless you for this, Kirk. I love you.

The Three Faces of Rose

Have you ever really really watched your avatar? I mean, have you ever turned your viewpoint to "Body Mirror" and just....stared...at your persona? Because, that's what they are, you know. They are a persona of our imaginations.

Dictionary.com defines persona as...

per·so·na (pr-sn)n. pl. per·so·nas or per·so·nae (-n)
The role that one assumes or displays in public or society; one's public image or personality, as distinguished from the inner self.

So, I gotta figure, if Rose_Blossom is distinguished from my inner self, then she is clearly defined out of my imagination. She's everything I would like to be, but... physically, emotionally and, well, maybe not spiritually, but everything else, can't be. At least, not yet. But I'm working on it.

Anyway, back to staring at your avatar. When I stare at Rose, she is often very preocupied, with something, or perhaps, someONE else. She definitely has something else on her mind besides me. How do I know that? Take a look.

These pictures were taken today. All within a matter of a few minutes.

Here, she looks like she knows I am staring at her. She is just a bit shy, but is glad I came to see her...

Here, she looks maybe a bit ... perturbed, that I am staring, and not talking...

Now I start to talk, and I ask her some questions~

Rose, have you been shopping lately?...


Did you have fun on the flight with the Hairier Legion Flight Team the other night? ...


How is work going on your recent article? ...


Do you like anchovies on your pizza? ...


Are you in love? ...


You see? She has a different "reaction" to everything that is asked of her. And obviously a reaction to anything that is said to her from outside the game, as well as what is said to her IN the game.

Rose is like me in many ways in that she's tough when she has to be...


But she's really very soft and vulnerable where it doesn't show...


She is fiercely independent, almost to the point of being stubborn...


But she thrives on social interaction and loves to help her friends...


She is sentimental... and she's WILDLY romantic...


And, she's incredibly smart... but sometimes she hides that... I'm not sure why...


When Rose is with a group of people she tends to be quiet...subdued...distracted...


But when she is with someone special, ...

I think she is so focused and almost hypnotically drawn to that presence, their very essence, that its as if nothing else around her exists...


Amazing, isn't it?

You try it. Spend a few minutes with your persona, watching them, talking with them... become bonded with them. You never know... it might be the beginning of something beautiful!